The selfish people are always so easy to spot. Come on, take a look around the room. Can you find them? To me, finding the selfish people is like looking for the person with a giant hairy mole on the end of their nose.
These hairy moled people seem to fit themselves into two main categories. The first group is composed of those that don’t even know its there and see selfish as completely “normal”. They don’t realize they have the mole and assume everyone around them is the same way. The second group consists of the people that have a giant hairy mole but rock it like the stars they think they are. They know they are selfish and don’t even second guess it.
Being selfish is something I’ve always struggled with. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be the first one to tell you that my days and can be a little less than friendly. Yet the idea of putting myself and what I want first is really not my norm. I am very much “the job,” – work will always come first – and then my friends and family. Of course I make time to enjoy myself, laugh and really have a great life but most of it is while doing things for others.
When is it time for me?
As a young professional I know I need to work my way up, put in long hours, and be “the job” to be successful. I have no problem with that. I (like most driven young professionals) have accepted that as part of my road to success. To be successful you need to not only accept those facts but embrace them. Something I do everyday when I get up and get pumped to head into the office.
What I want to know is when I will not be “the job.” When will I get to choose what I want to do with my free time? When do I get to be selfish and be Teresa – the ultra successful 20-something who is going to “have-it-all” 
. When does the time come when I can travel without the guilt of missing a day at work or a family event on the weekend? Will this be something we grow into or will I one day throw it out the window and make the trip across the world on the chances of finding whatever I am looking for.
As a generation-yer we are taught to go for our dreams, travel if we want to travel and really enjoy and embrace the life we are given. Sounds awesome right? Although, it sounds ideal and I am sure many of you are saying “enough whining and go do it,” let’s be real – being selfish and doing exactly what you want to do isn’t that easy.
Turning it on and off
Alright, so after some quick polling most people agree that you need to be selfish it needs to happen. So now that I know it is okay to flash the hairy mole, when do we turn it on and when do we turn it off? Should it be an on-off switch or more like a dimmer? I refuse to grow that hairy mole so I guess it is time to master the light switch.
What do you think about being a young professional and being selfish? Is it a mole you try to hide or is it more like a light switch in your life?
From my experience anyway, you just need to pick your spots. At some point you will realize what your worth is to your company and to yourself. Your superiors will know that you put in the hard work and they don’t view it as being “selfish” at that point. When I first started working I was so afraid that I would be looked down upon if I didn’t say yes to all the projects and things like that. Eventually I stopped getting everything and only got the tough jobs. By the point I realized there’s a trust and I started going on vacations and taking time outs that I need for myself. In the long run its healthy for you and better for your company. You come back refreshed and work even harder or at least maintain a high level of quality.
I think you’re better off being good at your job and connecting with some others in your industry than “being the job”. There may be a few workplaces that judge people by how much of their personal time they sacrifice to spend at the office, but I’m not sure if that’s the sort of place you want to work.
One example of a friend who’s had a pretty successful career so far comes to mind. We worked at the same place when we were in our late 20s. He worked a 10am-6pm shift (since he covered clients in the Mountain West) and he was out the door at 6 on the dot every day. He also took sick days whenever he felt he needed to. No Queen for a Day nonsense from him.
But he was really good at his job and had a charismatic personality. When he interviewed for his first management role and one of the senior execs asked him the usual b.s. question about where he wanted to be in five years, he said, “in your job.”
Long story short, he got that job, got promoted again at that company, and now heads a big group with about a hundred people reporting to him at a major financial services company. Partly because he is charismatic and good at what he does, and partly because he made friends with a couple of key folks. Not at all because he “was the job”.
YMMV.
Wow Dave, great comment. Thanks so much! I agree with you and wish that I could be that person. Maybe it is something that comes in time. Burning the candle at both ends doesn’t help, and being the job results is a quick burn out.
I guess time will tell what the future holds. Do you feel like you are able to “hang up” because the clock strikes 5? I just don’t think I could do it.
Thanks, Teresa. Re “hanging up” at 5, I run my own business, so it’s tough to fit that into a 9-to-5 schedule. I would just caution young pros to remain alert to whether and how their employers are reciprocating their dedication. Your enthusiasm is a perishable resource. When you give it to an employer, it’s important that your employer invests in you in return.
Wow, great comment! Thanks for the lesson. Love the “Your enthusiasm is perishable resource…”
Cheers and don’t be a stranger.
“As a young professional I know I need to work my way up, put in long hours, and be “the job” to be successful”
Wow, teresa. Man. If you want to do that, my advice is to start your own business where you are rewarded commensurately for the work you do.
That is to say, if you own your own business, and you know what you are doing, and you put an extra hour into west coast sale every night — at the end of the month, you’ll have more $$.
If, on the other hand, you have one of those ‘day job’ thingees, you never know when the cranky boss will ignore your contributions, the threatened boss will steal the credit, or the cash-starved company will be unable to reward your hard work.
There are other ways to build your rep – user groups, blogging, social media, media socialness, mocial seedia, etc. Ok, I made that last one up.
Point is, there are other ways to do it, but I don’t recommend that smart, young, energetic people work for “the man” anymore. IF anything, I’d recommend a startup, but I think you tried that once as well …
All my best.
Hey Matt!
I love seeing when you have commented and always look forward to hearing what you have to say. Thank you for your comment.
Honestly, I love being the job. It keeps me motivated, driven, out of trouble and most of all hungry for more. We all have bad days – frustrating, pull your hair out kind of days. It would be weird if we didn’t. If I was on my own, it wouldn’t be my bosses bad day, it would be my clients.
Sometimes we need that instant gratification to build us up, and that is where I rely on the social network I have built over the past year.
Damn the man. I love start-ups even if I have been burned before. So happy I chose to start my new job with a “start-up” rather than a serious corporate environment. I may work long hours and bring work home now, but I know everyone I work with is doing the same thing and that we are all working our butts off to reach the same goal.
Thanks again Matt!